courtesy of englishrussia.com
...so I'm about to get ready for my flatmate's marriage ceremony. (& my business partner, Adam, is off in Tennessee at a wedding as well.) I really need a double espresso. Going to be wearing my standard party dress and heading straight for The Shortstop afterwards for some dancing. (See previous post.) The whole concept of marriage really freaks me out. Almost did it twice and after reminiscing about how my good friends Carrie and Jenn took the plunge, being at their weddings... & who was I kidding thinking that I could do that too? All that kind of preparation seems like it isn't for me. Picking out your "colors" and deciding which of your friends you'll choose to parade down the aisle... Pressure! Wedding showers, bridal showers, bachelor-ette parties (the ones I've seen come with penis cakes and penis tipped straws), bachelor parties, rehearsal dinners... there are SO many little parties to go with the big day... Why not just throw parties? Do they know this all ends in having to share your bed for the "rest of your life"? Isn't that just a little daunting?
No no no... Yes. I still deem myself a romantic - but I suppose I associate romance with that that is uncommon and not included in your everyday. And I really like sleeping alone sprawled out on my bed. Even if I'm not a tall person, even a California King size bed ain't big enough for a multiple-roll over. Plus, there's very little romance in constantly cleaning up after each other... Reminds me, I really MUST do laundry.
I'm not saying that this commitment stuff isn't great, but it's perhaps not for everyone. Marriage has become so complex, and the rules keep getting more elaborate. Now you're supposed to get an engagement ring the price of 3 months' salary. That's just the engagement ring! And then you have to upgrade every 5 years or something. Sure, if you're still with someone five years after he/she steals the sheets every night, and farts, or snores (this is all after it's not cute or endearing anymore) - then YES - you deserve a medal. But how about a trip to Scandinavia to rekindle the flame as opposed to another rock? (The last I saw my cousin Marie she had so many upgrades on her small slender finger that it looked ridiculous, and more like a ball-and-chain than a symbol of love and commitment.) I truly believe that one can be with another without signing papers for the government to recognize you as a unit.
Ps - I'm so glad that
California now recognizes same-sex marriage. Makes me proud of my state!
All this stated, I
did almost do it twice. I mean, I did accept the proposals each time, and picked out rings, and all that hoo-haa. I might not have been that far from it before. But I think being that close to it taught me that love and commitment itself should supersede the 3-month salary ring etc. That a physical representation of your love for another is all good & fine - but to place a price on it is rather silly to me. However, this is all dependent upon your personal experience and thoughts on the matter. Everyone should have love - whether you can 'afford' it or not. The important thing is longevity of the bond you share with that person, no? Kudos to those of you brave enough to take the plunge!
I'm off to toast another union...