miércoles, junio 4


Originally uploaded by joaquin!!!

i got my inbox down to 16 messages!
now i slumber...

martes, junio 3

Gin & Platonic

during simpler times

Thursday night, a friend casually turned to me and said in passing, "You know that [so-and-so] has a massive crush on you, right?" There was a pause in the rhythm of my step causing me to stumble just a little bit. Hopefully an unnoticeable little bit, a reaction to the surprise. I was planning to set up [so-and-so] with one of my good friends... Then I thought that the last time I've actually hung out with [so-and-so], I didn't particularly act "flirty" and they didn't particularly hang out with me after that. A little bummed out feeling made my stomach turn: I thought this person was really into my humor and musical taste, not how I might taste. (Take that as you will.) I was disappointed to know that [so-and-so's] kindness and attention had ulterior motives.
Did you know that "ulterior motives" doesn't necessarily have a negative connotation? It simply means "going beyond what is openly said or shown and especially what is proper"
But I was also flattered. However, flattery doesn't make up for the lack of attraction.

Prior to this little exchange of knowledge, I have spent the last couple weeks trying to super-glue back together a 2-year-long friendship of mine with a very nice man who caught the wrong idea. Basically, I accepted a really amazing and expensive birthday gift from very nice man - thinking it was just that: A really amazing and expensive birthday gift. Turns out Adam and Paula and just about the rest of you were right: Nothing comes for free. In accepting this gift, it was assumed that I was interested in a romantic entanglement with very nice man . Yeah, assumed to everyone but me. Due to the gift being very expensive, and to add insult to injury - non-refundable - we've suffered emotional minor cuts and bruises because of this miscommunication. Yes, in hindsight, it was very naïve of me to assume that very nice man was just being a very nice man, but I tend to be a generous person and have given extravagant gifts in the past, with zero exchange expected. So perhaps my view of the meaning of gifts is skewed?

Similarly, I've had two friends who don't even know each other, have this problem. One has had a purely sexual relationfriendship for about a year, and then realized she was pretty much in love with this dude. He thought one thing, she wants another. Whatever they had going was annulled and now no one is having fun. Strike One. Two has a surrogate boyfriend, which means they have everything sans the sex. Though I saw them together and they looked at each other pretty googley-eyed - I'm quite convinced that they have the stars and the moon between their blessed little hearts, I understand that breaking that "friendship" wall is very daunting and it might be awhile till they get any action. Again, no one is having much fun. Strike Two.

Don't get me wrong - I like to be liked. I just don't like to be tricked. It's tiresome to hear the "I've liked you for so long..." speech. I've accepted that I'm a little stand-offish and therefore not the easiest to approach. And yeah, I know that people grow to adore others. Don't be a grower and not a shower. Be both! Are we to read between every line?! Does every breath, blink, and word - even the conjunction ones - have an underlying meaning? I truly hope not. I'm trying not to lose my faith in men and women truly being just friends, you know - on the imaginary planet of Platopia. Sure, everyone likes sex, it's fun, and a lot of things revolve around it. But the more time passes, the more I classify Person X as "friend" and not "roll-around-the-bed-mate." Can't speak for everyone else, but I truly believe the more time passes the more sex becomes a risk instead of an enjoyable tryst. Sex doesn't just carry your seed, it also is a seed that has to be planted early on. If you're into it, you can cultivate it to be something more and it can grow with a friendship (read: relationship). What I'm saying is: be straight-forward. Let's get our intentions straight; Let's make a deal; &/or Let's save us all a little time. And don't be too scared of eggs in a basket because just because you tell someone you "like" them, doesn't mean you like only them.

To put the shoe on the other foot (another funny American expression*) I actually basically had to ask someone to hang out with me as friends today because he is a member of the opposite sex. I don't think I would have had to take that extra step of clarification if he was a she. And in doing so, I believe to have made things "weird" with a special dash of awkward and he hasn't responded to me since. Uh boy, I feel stupid. Like I've digressed into the elementary days of ringing your play mate's doorbell and innocently asking, "Hi! Can Fernando play?" This of course was prior to the days when Fernando got "cooties" - naturally.

domingo, junio 1

The scariest movie I've ever seen.

See picture here: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3189/2541355119_4794603071_b.jpg

Stolen from Dave Schumacher's flickr

Jules (aka Legs) and I saw Sex & The City, the movie... It was the scariest movie I've ever seen. Two people, a "perfectly" couple, decide to get married so that sharing an apartment won't be weird/she won't get screwed over if anything happens that leads to splitting up. No one mentions common-law marriage laws?

Then with the commitment ceremony our darling main character, Carrie, gets carried away and forgets that the relationship is about TWO people not her + 200. Then she gets super bummed when he feels dissed and leaves her at the altar, beats him up with her humongous bouquet of flowers, leaves for THEIR honeymoon in Mexico with her friends and feels sorry for herself for the next half year BEFORE hearing him out. Totally stupid.

A relationship is between two people remember? Unless you're in a threesome or into polygamy, and even then that shit needs to stay within the people having the relations. Nothing good ever comes out of getting the whole village involved.

Carrie Bradshaw - a role model for females? Only in fashion. Outside of that - I think not and I say nay. Though it took me six seasons, I realized that the character of Carrie Bradshaw is nuts. She is way too demanding, expectant, and borderline delusional of what love should be. All these women out there taking her lead make me feel sorry for the hundreds and hundreds of men out there that have women in their lives who are huge fans of S&TC. (Especially the kind that actually liken themselves to one of the characters.) Is this why at 40 years old, she went unmarried?

This movie is going to breed even more suburban annoyance!

  • planning a huge wedding
  • wearing a dead bird on the side of your head for "fashion"
  • being left at the altar
  • psycho bride-to-be that, is seen in public, beating her fiancé
  • leaky marriage/fakey separation
  • pregnancy
  • losing the "love of your life" because of your own selfishness (!)
  • losing a penthouse apartment on 5th avenue because of your own stupidity (!)
  • Miranda's jungle bush
  • pooping your pants
  • Miranda-Steve sex


    See full post w/ pics here: http://celestronica.blogspot.com/2008/06/scariest-movie-ive-ever-seen.html
    ***Why did facebook notes stop importing the images? Bullshit! This is!

  • LCD Soundsystem's "North American Scum"

    This song still feels great this morning.

    & this one could have well been the soundtrack to Thursday night...

    Lost (season finale) and Lost (really)

    This afternoon Paul Tao and I were sitting outside of Chango, counting hipsters and making party plans. Our conversation weaved in-and-out of flatmate cleanliness to non-love lives, and birth days that are more like a Julie Delpy film (starring that guy you always see at Edendale on week nights) than a happy birth-day.

    The aforementioned trip to the neighborhood coffee house and conversation lead me to two things:

    Infused with a double espresso in the mid-afternoon, I got home and began cleaning my house. But not cleaning in a "tidy-up" sort of way. I was cleaning in a I've-done-speed-and-am-tweaking-out sort of way. I hoovered and mopped and swiffered; Dusted, cleaned the windows inside and outside (which entails taking the glass off of one pane when you're on the 2nd floor), I even cleaned the inside of the microwave and the inside of the dishwasher. *Insert pukey face here* My cat, Wubbe, is confused. Nothing smells like him right now. Not even the window pane, nothing on the floor. He is sleeping on the edge of the ottoman the way you would if you were sharing a bed with a distant relative of the opposite sex. I covered the couch with sheets to that his summer shedding can be doctored easily by throwing the sheets in the wash instead of vacuuming each section of the couch under-and-over for two hours. By the time I retire tonight, he'll be well on his way to rubbing his scent on the blankets and tomorrow we'll joyfully have more summer shedding to deal with. But truth be told, I got so OCD with the cleaning today that I didn't even begin to work on my bath, work, bed room or porch. I'm saving that joy for tomorrow.

    Before I begin on the second part of what this afternoon's coffee stop led me to - let's talk about Lost for a second. (I'm spending my Saturday night at home, enjoying a newly nearly spotless common area watching the season finale drinking Sake2Me and eating Bewitching Yellow Curry from Leela Thai.) Counting on that you are familiar with the story line and the characters; Don't worry this has no spoilers that are too important... But are we really supposed to believe that Juliette's hair is all of a sudden THAT blonde naturally (look at her eyebrows...? Obviously bottle-blonde, right?!), I mean - since the last episode? Did the Dharma people also supply hair dye or bleach in their drops to the island? Whatever happened to Desmond's psychic abilities? He can't forsee which wire will make which go boom? I'm 52 minutes in and am somewhat disappointed. I could care less whether Locke or Ben or that army-dude G.I. Joe get offed. I miss the hobbit that used to be in the show that talked about his band the whole time. Or at least I miss when he did that.

    Second place I was led: The last few weeks have been quite strange ones. Cut Copy's tour came to a close and The Presets tour started right up. Adam actually is on vacation - like a proper vacation; He had dinner with one of my besties in Memphis last night. Could this possibly inspire me to do this 'holiday' thing myself?! (Yes.) My flat mate Jeff got married. I went from exploring my roommate options, to kind of deciding that I really don't need one - and if this means that I can't have HBO and Showtime, I will survive.
    I'm really not home enough to watch television anyway. I think I watch more TV when I'm staying at Paula's in NYC than at my own house - partially because her gorgeous flat-screen makes these shows look like I shot them on my own DV camera.
    I've also met a lot of new people in the last few weeks, and have seen a few people that I've not seen in a long while: beautiful kind faces that I wish I could see more of and faces that I don't believe even enjoy my company therefore leaving me suspicious. I've taken a couple chances of making a complete [augghhh-bleghhhh] out of myself and made good on saying "hey we should hang out some time" with a handful of people. On the other hand, I've been rather surprised by the decisions, retorts, and/or non-actions of those who until recently I've held in very high regard. People never cease to amaze. I'm a little chafed, even though I'm not quite sure why in the world I am even surprised. This leaves me with a strange neither-here-nor-there limbo: disappointed, but with new faith. After all, it is when Spring turns into Summer - it is the time to fall for people old and new - even if it is only for one week at a time.

    Next week: New York City, again! I will bloody make it to the MoMA this time. It's not like I have an admission to pay, so I just need to get my ass there. I was promised a Central Park picnic lunch, and a corny romantic carriage ride to make up for some birth day drama and mistaken intentions (or perhaps not mistaken).

    Things to look forward to:
  • redecorating and tripling my closet space
  • drawing, drawings, and final execution
  • laundry!
  • I'm curating the talent portion of an event at a downtown gallery for a Modular presented night on Friday the 13th (of June) + complimentary vino!
  • Modular presents These New Puritans @ The Echo on June 21
  • Modular pool parties are coming back in L.A. - better wax now, please. I don't care how they do it in Europe.
  • Even though it was panned, fuck off - I'm still going to go see the Sex & The City Movie
  • Fuck Yeah Fest is taking that shit on tour & then bringing it back home Aug 30 & 31st
  • redecorating and tripling my closet space

    Remember when I used to write about songs? Yeah, I miss that too.

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